The Best Man's Speech

My husband was so nervous during his Best Man Speech at his little brother's wedding that I had to hold the paper steady for him. He said, 


"Good Evening Everyone

I want to thank the bride's parents for hosting a beautiful day today. I want to thank them for accepting my brother into their family. Good Luck. The bride, maybe the groom, and their families have done a great job working together to make this evening special.

So let’s be honest. Most people have come to this wedding a little confused. Questions you probably asked yourself in the ride over. Is this guy really getting married? Does she know what she’s doing? Is my Mom still going to do his laundry? And is it true that his childhood friend is going on the honeymoon with them?   

But the real confusion for me came from the name on the invitation. Most everyone here knows my little brother by his childhood nickname, not the grownup name he likes to go by now. We’re all not sure when the child died and the grownup was born but most people point to the first year after he graduated from college. And that was a good thing because everyone knows that he would never have been able to draw such an amazing woman during college. I’ll give you some examples of his alter ego.

My brother the lawyer is now friends with other successful lawyers and their conversation topics include politics, law review and what it’s like to still be a virgin. My brother's childhood friends have taken a different path in life. One is a toll booth worker, a cheese man with a gambling problem, a successful financier who quit his job so he had a reason to move back in with his parents, and last but not least a fireman who has been suspended multiple times. I asked the fireman last night why he keeps getting suspended and his response to me was “for being too brave.” My brother's lawyer friends are going to be very busy keeping his childhood friends out of jail.  

On a more serious note, he stopped being my little brother at some point and started becoming my best friend. I started to look up to him even though he was younger. 


We welcome his wife into our big Italian family. She fits right in. She loves food, she loves laughter and she loves making fun of my brother. I’m excited to call you my sister and I’m very happy that my three kids are going to be able to call you Zia.

So with that I ask everyone to raise their glass. To the bride and groom. May they never go to bed mad, but always stay up and fight!

I love you both."