Immigrant Proverbs on Modern Family

The Halloween episode of Modern Family aired this week. Part of the story was about the way Gloria speaks. They all make fun of her immigrant proverbs. I loved it.

Nonno Told on Me

Last Sunday evening, my father-in-law reprimanded me as harshly as he ever has, which is about as harsh as a loofah, because another parent coached my daughter's soccer team for me that day. My excuse was that my daughter couldn't play. The surgeon who repaired her two hernias the week before told us that she should sit out of sports for two weeks. 


With his normal friendly smile on his face, my father-in-law asked me, "What kind of coach are you? Your kid can't play and you don't show up?" 


I said, "Another father offered to coach knowing the situation with the surgery.... And (feeling suddenly super guilty).....  they're only six years old." 


My sister-in-law was laying on the couch next to us.  She said to me, "Why didn't you just lie to him?"


My parents are visiting from California this week for my daughter's birthday. At soccer this Sunday, my father-in-law told my Dad that I ditched my coaching responsibilities because my own child couldn't play, blatantly telling on me. 

The Voyage: Paris and the Louvre

Enjoying France during their grand summer voyage this summer, my father-in-law sent me three pictures of my mother-in-law studying paintings in the Louvre. Italian painters only.

The Voyage: Enough Underwears

When my father-in-law travels, he brings along one pair of underwear for each day of the trip. Their voyage this summer was 47 days.

The Voyage: Go Jump In the River!

Each professional soccer team in Italy has a dedicated souvenir shop somewhere within its home city. For a true fan, known as a tifoso, the store is the happiest place on earth, second only to the team's home stadium. For my father-in-law, back in Rome for the first time in 20 years, and quite possibly the last time in his life, his pilgrimage to his team's store was of the utmost importance. 


A policeman directed him to follow the river out of the city until he finds a staircase that leads to the river. My father-in-law found out later that he had been steps away from the store. His own cousin had set him up. The policeman was the president of the fan club for the rival team.