The Voyage: The Travel Diary

My mother-in-law is withholding her travel diary of their epic summer voyage until she checks it for spelling errors and potentially embarrassing stories. She was mad that we laughed at her spelling of helicopter as elicopter.  

No More Whole Grains

My mother-in-law is waging a losing insurgency to get my father-in-law to eat whole grains. He said to her at lunch today, "Non fare più così. È disgustoso!" This spurred my giggling kids to steal all the boxes of whole grain pasta from the pantry and hide them next door at Zia's house.

After the Voyage: Getting Back to Normal

Things are getting back to normal here in the Compound. My in-laws are back from their 47 day European vacation. 


This morning as I was cleaning up breakfast in the kitchen, I heard my father-in-law singing opera to my daughter in the other room. He was singing a lovely chorus of, "I am right, and you are wrong."  


A bit later, my father-in-law and my two year old son were playing what sounded like a fun game. Trying not to alarm either of them, I stepped in quickly. The blanket that my son was covering my father-in-law with to "tuck him in" was the same blanket that I had just put in the laundry pile after changing a diaper. There really was a significant amount of shit on it.

The Voyage: Nonna's Travel Journal

My in-laws are back from their summer voyage and the good news is that there is a diary.

A Plant Grows in Queens

The true grit of this tomato plant growing at the base of a drainpipe inside the Compound stirs my heart.

Our Cleanse

My sister-in-law and I are halfway through the Clean Program, Dr. Alejandro Junger's 21-day cleanse. This is a huge accomplishment for us. Yesterday we were in a cousin's backyard on the next block for a barbecue, watching the Women's World Cup team choke and the topic of the cleanse came up. As the food was served, it was obvious to his cousins that we were eating like weirdos. One of my husband's aunts asked what diet we are on. After my best explanation she said without hesitation, "Don't eat for 2 days. That will clean you out." 

The Voyage: England to France

After much anticipation, the first picture I received from my father-in-law's iPhone was of my mother-in-law looking wet and cold standing in front of Stonehenge. 


The next day he sent a picture of her standing on a bench looking wet and cold outside of Windsor Castle. There was a couple snuggling on the bench behind her little legs. 


The next day came a picture of my mother-in-law slurping hot soup somewhere. 


Then came two almost identical pictures of my father-in-law with a huge smile on his face standing at attention next to a stone faced royal guard. Understandably, he must have requested she take a second picture as a backup since this was the first picture he considered a must-have of himself. 


Then came a few pictures from around London and then a dark picture of most of the Eiffel Tower. 

My Summer Vacation

My summer vacation, otherwise known as "husband's to-do list staycation". 

The Voyage: 6 People + 6 Suitcases = European rental car disaster

The picture that I am desperate for my father-in-law to send is of the six of them squeezed into their Euro-sized rental car, everyone with their American-sized luggage on their lap.

The Voyage: Contact from England

The first picture he sent was almost two weeks into the voyage. I was starting to think he was playing it safe with the data plan fees and I was out of luck but my prayers were answered and all of us back at the Compound started to get text messages and even a couple of phone calls. 

The Voyage: Thank God for the iPhone

I begged my father-in-law to send me pictures and updates every day as they chug along on their epic voyage by sea and land from New York City to Nizza di Sicilia and back, and miraculously, he's doing it. He was extremely nervous about using his phone the wrong way overseas and racking up a monstrous cell phone bill but now I'm receiving daily text messages from him so apparently he believes he's safe.