Finally Moving Out

Our time at the Compound on 189th Street is finally coming to an end.  My sister-in-law and her family moved out of Zia's house (next door) a few months ago and now it's our turn.  My in-laws say that they are going to need grief counseling because they are going to miss us so much.  What a nice thought.  

America Beat Italy in Soccer Last Week

I have been eagerly awaiting my father-in-law's reaction to the news that the U.S. Men's National Soccer Team beat the Italian National Team last week.  He hasn't said a word about it to me.  


I asked my husband yesterday if he had spoken to his father about it at all.  My husband said his father had mentioned that the Italian papers were giving credit to the American keeper and that it should have been a tie.  What that says to me is that no one is questioning the U.S. goal in any way.  It also tells me that we have a world class goal keeper.  Huge.  
Keep up the good work, Mr. Klinsmann.  

Car War

My husband is at war with his father.  My father-in-law borrowed our old (junky) VW Jetta last weekend when we were out of town and was forced to abandon it a few miles away because he couldn't get it to start when he tried to drive back home.  My husband doesn't really care what exactly happened; he decided pay back was in order.


Stalking his father the following evening until he put down his car keys, my husband took the keys to my father-in-law's car and parked the car about a half mile away.  The next morning my father-in-law was walking around the neighborhood - my mother-in-law trying to keep up - trying to locate the car with the remote.  My daughter opened the kitchen window and yelled, "Nonno, it's that way!"  About a half hour later, they came back in the house totally dejected.  They took my car to work.  


My father-in-law brought my car back an hour later and took the bus back to work.  When he got home that night, he said he wasn't going to babysit for us on Saturday night as planned.  

My Us Weekly, cont.

I found my 'Us Weekly' on the shelf above my in-law's toilet.  It's confirmed.  He reads it on the potty.  


I took it.  Read it.  And then I put it back just the way I found it.  

My Us Weekly

I finally found out what has been happening to my 'Us Weekly'.  


It came today in the mailbox and I did a little fist pump and brought it inside.  I wondered, once again, where all the previous issues had gone.  I did find one a few weeks back upstairs in my in-law's room, but not once did I suspect there to be a thief.  


Today, I brought the magazine inside and placed it on the kitchen table.  My in-laws came home and went almost immediately upstairs because my Mother-in-law had a medical procedure today and she was told to rest.  When I went upstairs to bring my Father-in-law a plate with some dinner on it, I placed the plate on his bedside table, on top of my 'Us Weekly'.  

What We Have Destroyed

The following is a list of items that we have destroyed since moving in with my in-laws 17 months ago:


The grass in front of the house
All but three of the dining room chairs
All of the chairs around the kitchen table
All of the throw pillows in the family room
Both of the table lamps in the family room
The door knobs in the kid's bedroom
All of the exposed areas of the walls in the kid's bedroom
The wall in the hallway outside the kid's bedroom
The wall at the base of the stairs
The ceiling above the stairs
The ceiling of the basement
The toilet paper holders in two of the three bathrooms
The towel bar in our shared bathroom upstairs
The door handle on the cabinet in our shared bathroom upstairs
The washing machine
Any chance they had of renewing their current home owners insurance policy

New Year's Resolutions

1. Remember my blog. 
2. Moderation without having less fun.
3. Do yoga at least twice this year.
4. Veritas.

"Marry, F***, or Kill" in Theaters Now

On Sunday, my in-laws went to a matinee performance of "Marry, F***, or Kill", an off-broadway play written and directed by the young, hot daughter of some close family friends. I've seen the play and, in all honesty, surprised myself by being seriously uncomfortable with them sharing the experience. They went, in spite of my warnings, and came home obviously disappointed, complaining that I'm a prude. My mother-in-law said that my father-in-law was particularly disappointed. 

Immigrant Proverbs on Modern Family

The Halloween episode of Modern Family aired this week. Part of the story was about the way Gloria speaks. They all make fun of her immigrant proverbs. I loved it.

Nonno Told on Me

Last Sunday evening, my father-in-law reprimanded me as harshly as he ever has, which is about as harsh as a loofah, because another parent coached my daughter's soccer team for me that day. My excuse was that my daughter couldn't play. The surgeon who repaired her two hernias the week before told us that she should sit out of sports for two weeks. 


With his normal friendly smile on his face, my father-in-law asked me, "What kind of coach are you? Your kid can't play and you don't show up?" 


I said, "Another father offered to coach knowing the situation with the surgery.... And (feeling suddenly super guilty).....  they're only six years old." 


My sister-in-law was laying on the couch next to us.  She said to me, "Why didn't you just lie to him?"


My parents are visiting from California this week for my daughter's birthday. At soccer this Sunday, my father-in-law told my Dad that I ditched my coaching responsibilities because my own child couldn't play, blatantly telling on me.